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Stop posting in this journal my new one is preytotheheart. Add me to your friends list and go there!
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I HAVE A NEW LIVE JOURNAL ITS CALLED preytotheheart ADD ME TO YOUR FRIENDS LIST!
RYAN
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Why does your Heart Prey on the one you Love?
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Dear someone, FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
RYAN
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| Time: | 12:03 am. |
| Mood: | loved. |
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Jenn is the best girlfriend ever, and no matter how mad I get at her i love her because she is the coolest girl alive.
Jenn + Tonya = Mad cool They are genius!
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Saturday, June 28th, 2003
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I had to view my uncle at the funeral today it was like disturbing It didnt really look like him I dunno its hard to explain and i keep imagining him looking like that and like busting through my front window and coming to kill me. and it freaks me out. I could have went to the show tonight but critter already left so i couldnt go. Tommorow i think iam going to jenns and then coming home and wendsday night i think iam going to the movies to see Terminator 3 and then stay the night at critters. Well i am out PEace niggas
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Gotta go to a funeral tommorow I hate them but i gotta go. Today was O.K. Jenn came over to Critters and hung with me and Zach Pac. This weekend will consist of absoulutly nothing maybe mall and movies on Saturday. and i could really care less if i go. Next friday iam going to the movies and i hope those mother fuckers are there cuz then its Nigger bashin time!!!
YOu know you love my ICON!
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Thursday, June 26th, 2003
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Its 3:10 am and me and critter just got back from fucking someones night up. We threw firecrackers right by thier window and ran like niggers Minus the T.V. Well I think we are going to go play cow cow. So peace my niggas and niggeretes.
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Today My uncle was found dead in a room with the windows boarded up in his bed. Tightly wrapped in his covers. With half his fuckin head blown off and blood splattered on the walls and a pool of blood by his side. and the gun still lying on his stomach. With dried up tears on his cheeks.
Its hard not to think about what must have been going in his head, When had the gun up too it. Did he think about me? Did it Hurt? All of these questions nobody will ever know. Nobody will ever know waht its like to commit suicide Its just something called Morbid Curiosity.
I threw up several times today i saw pictures and i cant get them out of my head. it was disturbing to see someone you loved so helpless lying in his bed looking like that. And when my mom and my step dad just through there clothes away i could still smell the death lingereing on them. ON the wall in marker was a poem he wrote the the women that left him TO MELINDA: "Love is like Death only More Painful "if you were here i would be too"
So this Post is in Memory if my Uncle Jimmy Burkhart Who at age 41 took a Cowards way out of life.
Ryan Down And out
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| Time: | 1:12 am. |
| Mood: | drained. | | Music: | Slick Shoes-Darko. |
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Lets make this entry all about Nigger Jokes. IF you have any good nigger jokes Comment.
There were these 3 white guys sitting at a bar and these niggers came strolling in and they were like "you crackers are so dumb that you would build a Bridge in the dessert" And the crackers were like "no we wouldnt" So 3 Days passed and the Crackers werent there on the 4th day they came back and the niggers asked them "were have you guys been?" and the crackers said "we built a bridge in the dessert" The niggers laughed and were like "i told you you crackers were Dumb"
And the crackers said "that aint shit nigger I we we were done 5 niggers came up and were fishing off of it"
Why is Ray Charles always smiling?? He blind and doesnt know hes a nigger.
-Ryan-
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Stayed at home all day today. It was pretty Boring. I heard that Snuffy Died :( that brought my day down alot. Fuck these anti depressants they just make me hyper.
cant wait till monday me Jenn and critter and Tonya on a double date! I cant wait to see her i just want to hold her and kiss her and cry with her. I need to hang out with my friends again soon. Drug results come in on monday!! So tuesday Zach If your reading this lets hang out.
Well iam off to never never land where you never get old and your shits always cold. -Ryan-
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Went to the doctor today, My mom said ive been acting depressed lately(Which is Total Bullshit) so he prescribed me Anti-Depressents. I went to the blood place and the doctor said i had to get 2 blood tests one for my liver and one for Drugs. So i get there and some New chick was there. So she fuckin jams the needle into my arm. Not ease it but Jammed it. She goes oops i missed the vein. so this time the bitch jams it into my vein. It hurt like a bitch! So i was done i went and got some drive thru breakfast at mc Donalds. I go home got all comfortable and the blood place calls back and says oops we forgot to give you your drug test. I havent felt soo fuckin bad in my life. so i had to go back and let taht cunt jam another needle into my other arm. And i didnt get a lollipop. :(
my mom said if i pass my drug test shell get me this car from this lady she knows its a 93 Buick so its not taht bad ill take taht shit! and ill pass it so hell yeah!
Come take a Fuckin Survey Tommorow iam going to do absolutly nothing and have fun doing it Well talk atcha niggas later
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Some Nigger just ran through my side yard and that shit woke me up and he was screaming Stay Back like 8 times really loud and i didnt see anyone else but that was probably becasue they stayed back. But thats normal here in the Ghetto. Niggas Get shot. Crackers Get Guns pulled out on them. Crackers get to have 5 nigs jump out of the car and beat the shit out of them. Yeah everyday shit Here. Fuckin nigga Woke my ass up I was having a good dream! Ryan
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Thursday, June 19th, 2003
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I have to get up tommorow at 7:00 and go and take a blood test for drugs Ohh well ill pass and my mom said if i pass then I get ungrounded.
Well iam gonna get some rest peace Niggas
RYan
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It's that time of year again when the sun scorches your flesh away. Your get bumps and bruises all over and you puke because you ate some nasty shit that they were selling there. Ahhh yes iam talking about warped tour. July 27th Anyone that wants to go Comment critter iam buying your ticket mother fucker! Its at Pompano Beach.
Ryan
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AkAYeNnY143: i guess thats my choice then AkAYeNnY143: because i can't take it Zoebrown8: Take what? AkAYeNnY143: you
When I get back Pre-Break of dawn Hear the ring its me Live from a pay phone Talking in the Rain Things Pan out exactly as I say they will Will i be less happy When i get back?
Two hands in one glove as if we were poor The hard up make soup from stones Like the poor before them did before
You could say waiting could crush your heart
Buts its nothing new to me Having you crave me so desperately But I know How when you need me you bleed for me Though now iam gone you fill my shoes with new Fans Always and Forever We are apart and may she see She'd Be free of rejoicing in the distance If she only let me sleep
Will things make less happy When i get back?
absence makes the heart grow still Abuse the hunt; Confuse the Kill I know, I know
Make the dead feel deader Deader Make the dead sleep nights with a Razor Waiting Kill the prey
Ill hold my childs head underwater If It's a boy, I was joking IF it's a Daughter, Ill say I did What I did Because I had too.... And if you find my kid later tell her I laughed too
We just might work out fine Because I love you enough To let you give me the pain that I want ...And when you do I just might FUCK you Enough to love you Once upon my night stand Lied Letters Piled in columns Postmarked Middle Island Out east in the county of Solemn.
Ryan
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I get paid tommorow I need money So i can just blow that shit all awa on stupid things that i never need but this time its different iam going to buy some clothes offline hell motherfuckin yes nigga. Working tommorow at 5-9:30 yippy skippy ill prolly go to critters house during the day. and hang out there. Well my niggas and my niggeretes. Dont you wish you had that 2 minutes back.
Ryan
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Went to my dads house this Friday It was pretty boring. And this Saturday went to the movies with critter and as usual didnt see a movie but we walked to Target and visited zach while he was working.He sure does make a mean chicken Quesadilla. Went back to the movies walked around then went to my grandmas and watched The Ring and then had a pillow fight. Tommorow I might go hang out with Zach somewehre but i dont have any money. So i might just sleep in and ride my 4-wheeler. I work tuesday, Wendsday, and thursday. But iam finally off Friday on my moms weekend!!! So that means movies and then hopefully some fun. But i wont hold my breath. Talked t jenn for a while Tonight :) I miss her and cant wait till she gets ungrounded next year. Well this Novels gotta end so Here it is------------------------------
Ryan
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Cant sleep now Tom woke me up again. Yesterday was ok went to the mall and the movies with critter and then we stayed the night at my grandmas house I got drunk becasue iam an idiot and truthfully i felt damn good and had no worries. but i felt bad beacsue jenn wanted to talk to me but i was being stupid. I need to see jenn she sent me a letter today in the mail I loved it and hung it on my wall. Sunday i might go out and party hardy. PEace niggas
Ryan
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Load up the gun with memories. Pull the trigger and blow my mind. Its fun its fun its fun
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