Go ahead look at my shit

STOP POSTING

Thu, 03 Jul 2003 17:40:37 GMT

Stop posting in this journal my new one is preytotheheart.
Add me to your friends list and go there!

NEW LJ

Mon, 30 Jun 2003 06:52:55 GMT

I HAVE A NEW LIVE JOURNAL ITS CALLED preytotheheart ADD ME TO YOUR FRIENDS LIST!

RYAN

Mon, 30 Jun 2003 05:32:48 GMT

Why does your Heart Prey on the one you Love?

False Hopes

Mon, 30 Jun 2003 05:18:29 GMT

Dear someone,
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

RYAN

Mon, 30 Jun 2003 04:08:25 GMT

Jenn is the best girlfriend ever, and no matter how mad I get at her i love her because she is the coolest girl alive.

Jenn + Tonya = Mad cool
They are genius!

Imaginations suck

Sat, 28 Jun 2003 04:09:50 GMT

I had to view my uncle at the funeral today it was like disturbing It didnt really look like him I dunno its hard to explain and i keep imagining him looking like that and like busting through my front window and coming to kill me. and it freaks me out.
I could have went to the show tonight but critter already left so i couldnt go.
Tommorow i think iam going to jenns and then coming home and wendsday night i think iam going to the movies to see Terminator 3 and then stay the night at critters.
Well i am out PEace niggas

Casual Fridays

Fri, 27 Jun 2003 04:08:31 GMT

Gotta go to a funeral tommorow I hate them but i gotta go.
Today was O.K. Jenn came over to Critters and hung with me and Zach Pac.
This weekend will consist of absoulutly nothing maybe mall and movies on Saturday. and i could really care less if i go.
Next friday iam going to the movies and i hope those mother fuckers are there cuz then its Nigger bashin time!!!

YOu know you love my ICON!

Ahh the sound of firecrackers to wake up to.

Thu, 26 Jun 2003 07:13:32 GMT

Its 3:10 am and me and critter just got back from fucking someones night up. We threw firecrackers right by thier window and ran like niggers Minus the T.V.
Well I think we are going to go play cow cow. So peace my niggas and niggeretes.

R.I.P. Jimmy Burkhart

Tue, 24 Jun 2003 07:32:50 GMT

Today My uncle was found dead in a room with the windows boarded up in his bed. Tightly wrapped in his covers. With half his fuckin head blown off and blood splattered on the walls and a pool of blood by his side. and the gun still lying on his stomach. With dried up tears on his cheeks.

Its hard not to think about what must have been going in his head, When had the gun up too it. Did he think about me? Did it Hurt? All of these questions nobody will ever know. Nobody will ever know waht its like to commit suicide Its just something called Morbid Curiosity.

I threw up several times today i saw pictures and i cant get them out of my head. it was disturbing to see someone you loved so helpless lying in his bed looking like that. And when my mom and my step dad just through there clothes away i could still smell the death lingereing on them.
ON the wall in marker was a poem he wrote the the women that left him
TO MELINDA: "Love is like Death only More Painful
"if you were here i would be too"

So this Post is in Memory if my Uncle Jimmy Burkhart Who at age 41 took a Cowards way out of life.

Ryan Down And out

Mon, 23 Jun 2003 05:20:40 GMT

Lets make this entry all about Nigger Jokes.
IF you have any good nigger jokes Comment.

There were these 3 white guys sitting at a bar and these niggers came strolling in and they were like "you crackers are so dumb that you would build a Bridge in the dessert"
And the crackers were like "no we wouldnt"
So 3 Days passed and the Crackers werent there on the 4th day they came back and the niggers asked them "were have you guys been?" and the crackers said "we built a bridge in the dessert"
The niggers laughed and were like "i told you you crackers were Dumb"

And the crackers said "that aint shit nigger I we we were done 5 niggers came up and were fishing off of it"

Why is Ray Charles always smiling??
He blind and doesnt know hes a nigger.

-Ryan-

One day ill be Free

Sun, 22 Jun 2003 05:43:14 GMT

Stayed at home all day today.
It was pretty Boring.
I heard that Snuffy Died :( that brought my day down alot. Fuck these anti depressants they just make me hyper.

cant wait till monday me Jenn and critter and Tonya on a double date!
I cant wait to see her i just want to hold her and kiss her and cry with her. I need to hang out with my friends again soon. Drug results come in on monday!!
So tuesday Zach If your reading this lets hang out.

Well iam off to never never land where you never get old and your shits always cold.
-Ryan-

Iam still Jenny from the block.

Sat, 21 Jun 2003 02:28:37 GMT

Went to the doctor today, My mom said ive been acting depressed lately(Which is Total Bullshit) so he prescribed me Anti-Depressents.
I went to the blood place and the doctor said i had to get 2 blood tests one for my liver and one for Drugs. So i get there and some New chick was there. So she fuckin jams the needle into my arm. Not ease it but Jammed it. She goes oops i missed the vein. so this time the bitch jams it into my vein. It hurt like a bitch!
So i was done i went and got some drive thru breakfast at mc Donalds.
I go home got all comfortable and the blood place calls back and says oops we forgot to give you your drug test.
I havent felt soo fuckin bad in my life. so i had to go back and let taht cunt jam another needle into my other arm.
And i didnt get a lollipop. :(

my mom said if i pass my drug test shell get me this car from this lady she knows its a 93 Buick so its not taht bad ill take taht shit!
and ill pass it so hell yeah!

Come take a Fuckin Survey
Tommorow iam going to do absolutly nothing and have fun doing it
Well talk atcha niggas later

What the fuck has my neighborhood changed to?

Fri, 20 Jun 2003 07:41:14 GMT

Some Nigger just ran through my side yard and that shit woke me up and he was screaming Stay Back like 8 times really loud and i didnt see anyone else but that was probably becasue they stayed back.
But thats normal here in the Ghetto.
Niggas Get shot.
Crackers Get Guns pulled out on them.
Crackers get to have 5 nigs jump out of the car and beat the shit out of them.
Yeah everyday shit Here.
Fuckin nigga Woke my ass up I was having a good dream!
Ryan

Getting Ready for the needle

Fri, 20 Jun 2003 02:41:54 GMT

I have to get up tommorow at 7:00 and go and take a blood test for drugs Ohh well ill pass and my mom said if i pass then I get ungrounded.

Well iam gonna get some rest peace Niggas

RYan

I see you looking at me.

Wed, 18 Jun 2003 03:19:12 GMT

It's that time of year again when the sun scorches your flesh away. Your get bumps and bruises all over and you puke because you ate some nasty shit that they were selling there. Ahhh yes iam talking about warped tour.
July 27th Anyone that wants to go Comment critter iam buying your ticket mother fucker!
Its at Pompano Beach.

Ryan

What you reap you never rightfully own

Tue, 17 Jun 2003 04:45:15 GMT

AkAYeNnY143: i guess thats my choice then
AkAYeNnY143: because i can't take it
Zoebrown8: Take what?
AkAYeNnY143: you

When I get back
Pre-Break of dawn
Hear the ring its me
Live from a pay phone
Talking in the Rain
Things Pan out exactly as I say they will
Will i be less happy
When i get back?

Two hands in one glove
as if we were poor
The hard up make soup from stones
Like the poor before them did before

You could say waiting could crush your heart

Buts its nothing new to me
Having you crave me so desperately
But I know
How when you need me you bleed for me
Though now iam gone you fill my shoes with new
Fans
Always and Forever
We are apart and may she see
She'd Be free of rejoicing in the distance
If she only let me sleep

Will things make less happy
When i get back?

absence makes the heart grow still
Abuse the hunt; Confuse the Kill
I know, I know

Make the dead feel deader
Deader
Make the dead sleep nights with a Razor
Waiting
Kill the prey

Ill hold my childs head underwater
If It's a boy, I was joking
IF it's a Daughter, Ill say I did What I did
Because I had too....
And if you find my kid later tell her I laughed too

We just might work out fine
Because I love you enough
To let you give me the pain that I want
...And when you do
I just might FUCK you
Enough to love you
Once upon my night stand
Lied Letters Piled in columns
Postmarked Middle Island
Out east in the county of Solemn.

Ryan

(no motherfuckin subject)

Tue, 17 Jun 2003 02:26:57 GMT

I get paid tommorow I need money So i can just blow that shit all awa on stupid things that i never need but this time its different iam going to buy some clothes offline hell motherfuckin yes nigga.
Working tommorow at 5-9:30 yippy skippy ill prolly go to critters house during the day. and hang out there.
Well my niggas and my niggeretes. Dont you wish you had that 2 minutes back.

Ryan

Get on Tha Flow

Mon, 16 Jun 2003 04:58:33 GMT

Went to my dads house this Friday It was pretty boring.
And this Saturday went to the movies with critter and as usual didnt see a movie but we walked to Target and visited zach while he was working.He sure does make a mean chicken Quesadilla. Went back to the movies walked around then went to my grandmas and watched The Ring and then had a pillow fight.
Tommorow I might go hang out with Zach somewehre but i dont have any money. So i might just sleep in and ride my 4-wheeler.
I work tuesday, Wendsday, and thursday. But iam finally off Friday on my moms weekend!!! So that means movies and then hopefully some fun.
But i wont hold my breath.
Talked t jenn for a while Tonight :) I miss her and cant wait till she gets ungrounded next year.
Well this Novels gotta end so Here it is------------------------------

Ryan

Not a day goes by....

Fri, 13 Jun 2003 05:20:39 GMT

Cant sleep now Tom woke me up again.
Yesterday was ok went to the mall and the movies with critter and then we stayed the night at my grandmas house I got drunk becasue iam an idiot and truthfully i felt damn good and had no worries. but i felt bad beacsue jenn wanted to talk to me but i was being stupid.
I need to see jenn she sent me a letter today in the mail I loved it and hung it on my wall. Sunday i might go out and party hardy.
PEace niggas

Ryan

......

Wed, 11 Jun 2003 03:09:56 GMT

Load up the gun with memories.
Pull the trigger and blow my mind.
Its fun its fun its fun

Why......

Tue, 10 Jun 2003 02:12:36 GMT

Why does this have to happen to mee???? I love her and i need her!

I LOVE YOU JENN!!

RYan

The saddest day in my life.

Mon, 09 Jun 2003 20:54:41 GMT

This is To Jenn Russo,

The best 9 months of my life were swept away today and it kills me I really dont know what to do. I love you so much jenn and it just sucks because Iam scared i dont know what to do. I didnt think id ever live without living with you. And iam still not sure. I cant even see this fucking screen right now becasue the tears are My eyes all of these memories i have of you i will never forget And it jsut sux it had to end this way our relationship was so perfect and and for the very first time I fell asleep with you in my arms and thinking. God I wih i could stay like this forever and then morning comes and everything was gone. And i understand your mom says i cant talk to you or see you ever again but i hope that this whole ordeal settles down and we can restart were we left off. I Love you And I need you right now.
I am trying my hardest on not thinking about doing something stupid to myself. But i wont becasue if we do make it through this i still want to be here.
And if we do get back together i still wanna be able to tell you i love you and have you say it back iam so fucking scared.
I love you jenn i always will
Ill be waiting for you I promise.
Now its time to cry some more.

Ryan down and out

My skin is my sin.

Fri, 06 Jun 2003 18:31:58 GMT

I have to go to work again today do I look black to anyone here??
they are treating me like a slave. iam working a whole shit load now that summers here and it blows.
I barely get to see jenn. hang outwith my friends go to the movies or any other fun shit because i have to home at certain times to go to work
FUCK IT I SAID FUCK IT!!!

My first freestyle Comp.

Fri, 06 Jun 2003 06:41:17 GMT

Zoebrown8: So fuck elder hes probably white but not me cuz you cant see me without a light, sorry carry around a lighter bitch youll rott your brain playin street fighter. You aint got rymes cars or girls, shit nigga yous probably got jerry curls.

ELDER KELSO: when i slice your head off just call me zelda/ you fuck up when you called me elda

Zoebrown8: bitch reciting shit about a video game. How you could you ever get a girl damn nigga you lame. So go in your room and lock your door. And try to fantisize about the perfect whore while grabbin for your baby oil ill be grabbin the foil.

ELDER KELSO: Shut up Idiot.

Zoebrown8: Ahh you quit you lucky bitch you was about to own a stitch across you fo head. I have enough money nigga to have you dead.
But i aint no pussy ass bitch like you. Ill call yo mama up looking for a screw. So whatcha gonna do. I Know little with girl with gannaria just like you!

ELDER KELSO: Iam leavin nigga fuck this.

Ohh yeah i was bored and i went into a nelly chat and tore up a nigga

Cuh!

Ryan aka Zoebrown

Kizzle Fizzle fo Rizzle

Fri, 06 Jun 2003 05:27:46 GMT

Sitting here online becasue I have no life. Becasue if I did i would be out no getting hammered.
But instead iam here in my boxers driking a classic eating ice cream and watching the mtv movie awards again.
WOW iam a cool kid now doesnt everyone wanna hang out with me?